Parents 5.30.2012

In a previous post, I mentioned that my mother had lost 2 sisters in less than a year.  What I didn't think about until this morning was that the younger one left behind 3 sons, all of them grown but they are basically parentless now.  Their father hasn't been a part of their lives since the youngest was a baby.  He's 27 now. To my knowledge, he's still alive but they have no contact with him at all.

Then I got to thinking about my aunt who just passed this month and thinking about her youngest daughter who is only 2 years older than me.  She too is now parentless, being that both of her parents have passed away.

I know that my parents will not live forever but I can't imagine my life without them.  It would seem weird not to   laugh on the phone with my mom, especially when she has something that she can't hold until I finish working.  She says "I know you are working but I had to call and crack you up."  Just hearing that makes me laugh.  My father calls me on Mother's Day asking if I have any children, or calls me on my birthday saying he heard that I was 21 today.  It's been more than 21 years since my 21st birthday but I still get a kick out of it.  If he calls my cellphone and I don't answer, he always says "Pam, this is your daddy.  Give me a call when you get a chance."   Maybe he doesn't realize that I know his voice, or the simple fact that his cellphone number shows up when he calls me.

I understand that we are adults but we are still someone's children and that part of you never really grows up.

I don't want to think about life without them.  I'm going back to work.

~Pamela Denise~

Same stuff, different day, 5.23.2012

Once again, I sit in front of my computer working for someone else and not working for myself.   Don't get me wrong.  I'm thankful to be employed in this economy but I just feel like I could be doing so much more.  In addition to working for someone else, I should be working on my dreams of becoming my own boss and doing something that I love.   Maybe I should work on a schedule and block off some time weekly to work on something I want to do and stick with it.  I guess I will think about it for the rest of this month and decide on a time at the beginning of next month.  Sounds like a plan to me.

Back to work I go.

~Pamela Denise

Life and death 5.18.12

In less than a year, my mother has lost two sisters to illness. One to scleroderma and the other to a brain tumor. One fairly young (58) and the other much older (82). At 43, I understand that death is very much a part of this thing called life but it sucks, really sucks. Death will never be something you can plan for. Sure, you can make arrangements and get things in order but even when you know its coming, death hits you like a ton of bricks you were not prepared to hold.

Be gone 5.4.2012

Yay for progress!  Not only did I get rid of a bill, but I closed the account.  Sure, it probably hurt my FICO score but big deal.  I'm not buying anything anytime soon and I really didn't see the need in keeping that card.  It will be a while before I can get rid of more accounts but hey, I'm working on it.

5.2.2012

I can't believe it's been a month since I last blogged.  Not good, Pamela.  I need to stop falling off the wagon and stay focused.  On a brighter note, I've written several pages in my book over that month's time so I am making progress somewhere.