Even after death, life goes on 6.26.2012

Both of my aunts have been laid to rest.  Now, I pray that we don't have a repeat of this past month...ever again.

In the past week, I have been able to see my sisters, both of whom live in different states than my parents and I.  It was good to see them.  One sister has settled into the mother routine quite nicely while helping her friend raise his son.  The other has found love and is planning a wedding.  They both seem very happy.  As the older sister, that makes me smile.

My life isn't too bad either.  I'm still looking for ways to earn more from home but the drama in my life has calmed down considerably over the past few months.  My other half and I are getting along.  My oldest is working at a place she loves and looking forward to her future, which includes getting back into college and one day opening her own business.  My youngest is preparing for her junior year of high school and looking at colleges.  Things are well.  No complaints here.

My crazy Cocker Spaniel has even calmed down a bit now that we take regular walks several times a week.  I'm even getting a handle on this weight of mine by walking him so it's a win-win situation for me.  After our walk, he goes to sleep for several hours, which allows me to be productive working without him barking or wanting to go outside.

I can't say that I'm 100% happy with life but I'm content and focused and that is a good thing for me.

~Pamela Denise~

Never prepared 6.12.2012

Death once again has come to take a loved one from my family.  This time, it was my mother's baby sister.  She just buried her oldest sister less than 2 weeks ago and now this.  True, she was sick but like the other, we thought she was getting better, so dying was the last thing on our minds.  The baby sister, we all knew would be the hardest to deal with.  She had Down syndrome and didn't talk.  Mom said she talked as a child but all of a sudden just stopped talking so the aunt I grew up knowing, never spoke.  She just smiled when you said "Hey Auntie" and kissed her on the cheek.  In recent years, her eyesight had failed but she managed to get around with the help of her sister, with whom she has lived since the death of my grandmother.

Every time I think about her, I cry.  I found it hard to sleep last night with the pains that had taken over my stomach.

My mother is a strong woman and she seems to be dealing with these deaths fairly well, considering.

I'm not sure if my fragile existence can handle all these deaths.  I am strong, like my mother but family makes me weak.

In the middle of the night, I found myself searching the internet on my phone, searching for answers.  I came across the National Association for Down Syndrome and this statement almost took my breath away:  The average life expectancy of individuals with Down syndrome is 55 years, with many living into their sixties and seventies.   This morning in talking to my mother, I said, "How old was she?"  Mom said, "She was either 55 or 56."   Damn, I thought.  Of course, my mother already know the average life expectancy and when my aunt got sick this last time, she said she told my other aunt who was caring for her that she was nearing the age when they die.  Maybe she had been mentally preparing herself.  I don't know.  I wasn't ready.  Death has a way of doing that.  Even when you know it's coming, you can't plan mentally.

I need to attempt to focus on work today.  I pray that I don't get any death charts or people with Down syndrome.  I'm not sure I can handle those today.

~Pamela Denise~

Creatures in the dark 6.2.2012

I understand these are not the best photos but being an amateur photographer who still has a lot to learn, these are  probably the best frog photos I have currently.  Those little things move very quickly.

Anyway, I was sitting at my desk surfing the net this morning and having a little breakfast, as is typical of Saturday mornings for me when I thought about the other night and thought I would share the story with you.

The other night my girlfriend decided to go out into the garage for one last cigarette for the night.  It was raining but had calmed down considerably by this time.  First off, let me say that she is deathly afraid of frogs.  Back to the story....  She let the garage door up and to her surprise, 3 little frogs were at the door as if they were waiting to come inside LOL.   She screamed and let the door down.  I ran to see what the problem was and as she told me, we heard this sound.  It was a thump/thud kind of sound on the garage door.  I went back inside to retrieve the flashlight and headed out the front door to see what they were doing.  Once I shined the light on them, I could see one frog hanging onto the door and the other jumping to get onto the door.  I couldn't help but laugh.  It was the funniest, yet creepiest thing I had seen in a long time.

This photo of the frog on the siding was actually from another episode of "Attack Of The Frogs" but the concept is the same.

We have been dealing with frogs for years and they are driving us crazy.  We've had one in the garage, which our neighbor's teenage son was nice enough to remove but most of them hang around the garage door. We've had them in the flower bed, near the trash can and near the AC unit.  They can be quite annoying. We have tried so many things to get rid of them but we are limited as to what we can put down because we have a dog and our neighbors on either side have small children so we don't want to endanger the children or the dog.

Until this last rain, we thought we had been successful in getting rid of them.  Boy, were we wrong!

~Pamela Denise~